Weekly Comic Recommendations for 1/7/2009

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And now, here it is: the first of the long awaited and highly sought after, highly thought of, and rarely read Weekly Comicbook Recommendations of the new year (by the way, happy new year people)! This, along with the debut of 2 new members to our growing groin family heralds an onslaught of popularity, celebrities and awesome aplenty (I hear Goki is more than just a little behind Jennifer Love Hewitt’s recent split). And maybe I’ll be funny for once. There’s only one way to find out…

DC Comics

Faces of Evil Grundy: I always liked Solomon Grundy for his simplicity and kind of White Pussy Hulk mannerisms, so the fact that he has more than one evil face comes as a mild shock. My least favorite evil Grundy face? “GRUNDY NO LONGER HAVE ERECTION”. Yes, that’s right. I’m still crass, even in 2009.

Secret Six #5: Quickly rising the ranks into DC’s upper echelon of titles, Simone continues to wield snappy dialogue mingled with a creepy ass villain with a so lame it’s cool name (and clearly purposeful) of Junior. Get on board people. She writes on this blog (kinda).

Marvel

Dead of Night Featuring Werewolf by Night #1 (of 4): Never you mind that the “by night” part of his name is probably the lamest attempt to differentiate yourself from any other werewolf (or MGM flick), he’s still a sweet character [witness Moon Knight #21 and the old fun campy WBN (he should have his own network) series of old]. I have no idea who’s writing or drawing this, which is something a reputable blogger on comics would know, but who am I fooling, really? But, this is a MAX series and I’ve heard good things about the other Dead of Night mini series’, and who doesn’t like werewolves (that’s probably why Underworld has 2 fucking sequels)?

Invincible Iron Man #9: I find it funny that not a half year before the guy’s movie goes bonkers at the box office and saved Marvel’s stock from extinction, they officially make him Marvel’s “Most Wanted Dick” character. But of course, we know that by the end of this year, he will have had some serious redemption, or at least prove to be less of a big fat prick than Norman Osborne. The story of how that happens is going on here, with capable handed Matt Fraction guiding the way. I detest Salvador Larocca’s weird style in this book, but Fraction and the stubbornly intriguing Dark Reign implications have me onboard.

Sub-Mariner: Depths #4 (of 5): This book, by Peter Milligan and Essad Ribic, is much different from what I expected, but not at all in a bad way. It’s equal parts mystery, thriller, horror and disaster/period piece in what would probably be the best way to make a Namor movie (although count me in for a fun Atlantis adventure if they go that route too). It’s dark and really a psychological drama, and we still have seen little more than a winged foot in 3 issues. Who cares: it’s damn good, and Ribic’s paint job is like a Briana Banks blow job: it’s fucking beautiful and you can tell it takes a lot of effort.

X-Men Noir #2: I missed the first issue of the series (and if you did, a reprinting of #1 comes out this week as well, ‘natch), but I will definitely be getting both issues this week after I surprisingly thoroughly enjoyed Spider-Man Noir #1 and the stellar IGN reviews for this title (they didn’t like Spidey so much, FYI). I’m a huge fan of noir, in both novel and movie form (give me a Humphrey Bogart movie and a beer and I’d be as happy as a pig in shit….for as long as said movie, and maybe I’d want a 12 pack), so this is right in one of my erogenous zones.

Indies

Devils Panties HC Vol 2: I don’t know how I missed Volume 1 of this scorching series. This is either something that villains across the universe fight for a la the Get Out of Jail Card Free from Secret Six (THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE DEVILS PANTY), or about an evil whore’s undies (most likely worn by Goki’s mom), or it’s a cool catchphrase that high schooler’s use: For instance, “Hey dude, you’re as hot as the devils panties right now!”; then said dude sinks another beer pong shot, subsequently vomits his crown (the panties) to the next teenaged partier and the cycle begins anew (where the devils panty is like the opposite of the dunce cap and functions like a hot potato of the loins). Most likely of all: it’s none of these things but a critically acclaimed Manga series, of which I’ll learn from the creator himself when he tears my own devil’s panties up in a future post.

Don’t Rush Love GN: But don’t wait your whole life waiting for it either. This is for all those premature ejaculators out there.

Lucky Luke Vol 14: Dashing White Cowboy: I have a sinking feeling that all Luke’s are lucky. There’s Luke Skywalker, who may be a whiny bitch, but he still was a badass for at least 43 minutes, there’s Coolhand Luke, the classic movie starring the late great Paul Newman as a convict who could eat a shit ton of eggs in 43 minutes (in prison), and my friend Luke who was able to transfer from a community college to Cornell, swim really fast, and fuck more girls in 43 minutes than our entire house combined. I think the point has been proven. You’re welcome.

Pumpkin Scissors GN Vol 4: This is what Linus from Peanuts uses when he plays Rock Paper Scissors (because he goes ape shit for pumpkins). Or what the evil Pumpkin uses to shred up his poor blanket in the upcoming Peanuts Halloween horror special.

Sexual Serenade TP: As long as this doesn’t include any evil faces of Solomon Grundy, someone named Luke, pumpkin scissors, Goki’s mom or premature ejaculators, this is probably this week’s SPIFF THAT BITCH UP. What does that mean exactly? You decide, I have better things to do.

What am I getting? Why, thanks for asking (self): Iron Man, perhaps Dead of Night, X-Men Noir 1-2, Sub Mariner, mayhaps Cable, Secret Six and Haunted Tank #2 (it’s about a tank that kills people. Oh wait, all tanks do that).

So long, and sorry I kept you from more important things.

Love,

Spiffy “Premature Ejaculation Happens if You Wear Devil’s Panties” Dude

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2 Responses to “Weekly Comic Recommendations for 1/7/2009”

  1. gokitalo Says:

    Speaking of Bogart, I need to rent The Maltese Falcon again…

    Also, STAY OUT OF MY MOM’S CLOSET

  2. spiffyithaca Says:

    Rent? Nay. You need to OWN it!

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