Preview Reviews for April: DC edition, BITCHES!

by

Guess what? I’m drunk. But guess what else? Right now I think it’s a good idea, for some reason, to revive the legendaty Preview Reviews!!! Shouldn’t I probably wait until I’m sober, then try to get someone else to team up with me? Mayhaps. But what if Superman had waited until he sobered up and got a team-up to fight effing Doomsday? Perbe, he might have lived. But if he’d lived, then the tpb Death of Superman would have seemed like false advertising. Yeah, think about that.

I’ll start with DC, because it comes first in the ol’ alphabet-aroo, and because Bendis doesn’t work there.

DC Comics’ FULL APRIL 2010 SOLICITATIONS

BRIGHTEST DAY #0
On sale APRIL 14 • 56 pg, FC, $3.99 US
Written by Geoff Johns & Peter J. Tomasi • Art by Fernando Pasarin
Cover by David Finch
1:50 Variant cover by Ivan Reis
The biggest event in comics continues as BRIGHTEST DAY burns back the BLACKEST NIGHT from the writing team behind GREEN LANTERN and GREEN LANTERN CORPS – Geoff Johns and Peter J. Tomasi! And don’t miss the exciting DC Comics debut of red-hot cover artist David Finch (New Avengers, Ultimatum)! The effects that the already classic BLACKEST NIGHT will have on the DC Universe will be felt for years to come and this issue not only sets the stage for the new ongoing biweekly DC Universe book BRIGHTEST DAY, but also the next exciting era of the DC Universe! Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. This issue features a special ordering incentive. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.

David: First off, I think Johns and Tomasi could be an amazing writing team, if they did so more often. Tomasi sucks at dialoguea, and Johns sucks at not doing unnecesarry retcons. Put them together, and bam, Stan Lee. Only modern and, whatever. Brightest Day sounds lovely. David Finch is at DC now, and while his women tend to look the same, he’s still quite talented. I wish we knew how long Brightest Day is, but I bet it’s good stuff.

GREEN LANTERN #53
On sale APRIL 21 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Written by GEOFF JOHNS • Art and cover by DOUG MAHNKE & CHRISTIAN ALAMY
1:25 Variant cover by RODOLFO MIGLIARI
A BRIGHTEST DAY tie-in! Exploding out of BLACKEST NIGHT comes the next exciting chapter in the Green Lantern mythos: “New Guardians”! Forced together during the rise of the Black Lanterns, Hal Jordan, Sinestro, Carol Ferris, Saint Walker, Atrocitus, Indigo-1 and Larfleeze must agree to disagree if their next mission is to succeed. But when one of the strangest beings from Green Lantern’s past returns, the future of the Lanterns and the universe at large once again falls into question.
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. This issue features a special ordering incentive. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.

David: We got a taste of the “New Guardians” in Blackest Night #6ish, and it sounds cool that they’re going to stick around post-BN. “One of the strangest beings from Green Lantern’s past”? If that doesn’t refer to ,otherfucking G’NORT, then I will be sorely disappointed.

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #47
On sale APRIL 28 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US
Written by Peter J. Tomasi • Art and cover by Patrick Gleason & Rebecca Buchman
1:25 Variant cover by Rodolfo Migliari
Superstar writer Geoff Johns launches an all-new FLASH ongoing series, and this debut issue ties direct into BRIGHTEST DAY! As BRIGHTEST DAY begins, Guy Gardner and Kyle Rayner, along with the rest of the Green Lantern Corps, attempt to pick up the pieces from the horrific events of BLACKEST NIGHT and take a long hard look at how the Corps is run now that major revelations have come to light. Who survived (and what the Alpha Lanterns have in store for them) is only one of the many new questions that the Green Lanterns will have to answer on the difficult and dangerous road ahead.
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. This issue features a special ordering incentive. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.

David: Well, I guess we know Guy and Kyle both survive BN. Maybe shouldve have posted a spoiler alert, but too late nows. Tomasi has done his best work yet on the title during the crossover, so jopehully he keeps it up during Brighrtest Day.

THE FLASH #1
On sale APRIL 14 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US
Written by GEOFF JOHNS • Art, cover and 1:100 variant cover by FRANCIS MANAPUL
1:25 Variant cover by Tony Harris
A BRIGHTEST DAY tie-in! Get in on the ground floor of DC’s next epic in the making! The Flash races out of BLACKEST NIGHT and into his own monthly title as the all-new adventures of The Fastest Man Alive start with “Case One: The Dastardly Death of the Rogues! ” Barry Allen runs back to his life in Central City, but when one of the Rogues turns up murdered under mysterious circumstances, it’s up to The Flash to not only solve this bizarre crime, but protect those that are still targeted by the elusive killer. Plus, don’t miss a peek into the future of the Flash universe in this special, extra-sized starting point issue!
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.

David: Wiggity wam wam wazzle! It’s a new flash series!!! I thought Wally was faster than Barry? So how can this book still be the faster man alive?> maybe our resident Flash expert, Lia, can clear up who the fastest Flash is, in the event she reads this post (UNLIKELY). But regardless, I’ll give it a shot. Interesting that Johns’ old spaRRING PARTNERM, Apollo Creed (by whom I mean Scott Kolins) isn’t teaming up again for the new book. Instead, it’s Francis Manapul, who I can only assume is related to Frances McDormand (?) who was in Fargo and Dances with Wolves. Do they have those movies in canada, Lia?>!>? Probably not: no hocky or curling in either.

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #44
On sale APRIL 21 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US
Written by JAMES ROBINSON • Art and cover by MARK BAGLEY & ROB HUNTER
1:25 Variant cover by David Mack
A BRIGHTEST DAY tie-in! Following the events of BLACKEST NIGHT, the brand new Justice League of America enters into BRIGHTEST DAY with an arc featuring the Justice Society of America. The epic team-up begins with a character from the end of BLACKEST NIGHT joining the JLA. But when the storyline’s over, what mysterious villain will be revealed – and which hero will switch teams?
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.

David says: I bought january’s issue of JLA, but have NOT read it yet, so I can hardly say how APRIL’s is going to be. You ask too much. Mark Bagley was the shit in the 80s and 90s, but then changed his style in the 2000s, during huis runs on ZThunderbotls and Fantastic Four. By the time he got to Ultiamnte Spidey-Man, his stuff looked quite different: people were more angular, and he had a distinct way of drawing faces, particularly noses, tyhat I can;t quite describe. But I still like him; he’s jsut different is all.

BLACKEST NIGHT DIRECTORS CUT
On sale APRIL 7 • 80 pg, FC, $5.99 US
Featuring contributions from GEOFF JOHNS, IVAN REIS, DOUG MAHNKE, JOE PRADO, PETER J. TOMASI, PATRICK GLEASON & others
Cover by IVAN REIS
Prepare for the ultimate behind-the-scenes experience from the event of the century! With the creative minds behind BLACKEST NIGHT as your tour guides, you’ll marvel at hidden Easter eggs and meanings throughout the series in our director’s commentary section. Discover shocking scenes that were left on the cutting room floor including actual script pages that were never drawn. Be astonished at incredible never-before-seen designs from the best-selling event! Plus, many more exclusives that you’ll witness within this mammoth special including an early look into BRIGHTEST DAY!

David: You’re not Martin Scorcese, assholt


BATMAN AND ROBIN #11
On sale APRIL 7 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Written by GRANT MORRISON
Art by ANDY CLARKE & SCOTT HANNA
Cover by FRANK QUITELY
1:25 Variant cover by ANDY CLARKE
“Batman vs. Robin” part 2 of 3! The Dynamic Duo fight it out in the ultimate duel to the finish. Meanwhile, Robin’s mother, Talia al Ghul, sends an old adversary of Dick Grayson’s to complete the job that her son may not be able to stomach!
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.

Dave sayd: Holy crapshit! Dick and Damian are apparently on the brink of a battle royale. I honestly had no idea, but this makes me even more interested in the coming issues.

BATMAN #698
On sale APRIL 14 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Written by TONY DANIEL
Art by GUILLEM MARCH
Cover by TONY DANIEL
Only two months until BATMAN #700! As the landmark issue nears, Dick Grayson’s life as The Dark Knight heats up in a big way. With Black Mask out of the way for good, the Falcone crime family attempts to fill that void – with no regard for the safety of Gotham City’s citizens! And what’s going on with the Riddler?

Davaroni says: Tony Daniel’s most recent issue (January?) was his best yet as writer and artist, so maybe he’ll be fully hitting his stride by this one. Even now, it seems he’s doing domething interesting with Riddler, though we’re unclear what yet. What a minute, he’s not doing art for this one? Weirdness. Guillem March? More like Guillen April, jackass.

BATGIRL #9
On sale APRIL 14 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Written by BRYAN Q. MILLER
Art by LEE GARBETT & TREVOR SCOTT
Cover by Stanley “Artgerm” Lau
The conclusion to “Batgirl Rising” begins here with part one of the four-part “Flood” storyline! A string of bizarre, technology-based “suicides” gets the attention of both Batgirl and Oracle, but for very different reasons. And the two heroes will soon realize that they’re the real targets of a nefarious madman Hell-bent on revenge…

Davey says: Would you rather have sex with Stephanie or Barbara>? Barb is in a wheelchair, so she might not be so responsive. But Ui’ve always liked redheads, but have never been with one. Tough call. Spiffy would choose to fuck the parapalegic, that sicko.

GOTHAM CITY SIRENS #11
On sale APRIL 28 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Written by PAUL DINI
Art and cover by GUILLEM MARCH
As Gotham City swirls in a maelstrom of evil and villainy, three of the most unlikely candidates – Catwoman, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn – step forward to bring some light to the situation. But will their efforts enough to stem the tide of madness and mayhem?

dave kinda says: I remember an episode of the old Batman cartoon where Ivy and Harly teamed up. That Bats cartoon was really, really good at times.

OUTSIDERS #29
On sale APRIL 21 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Written by DAN DIDIO
Art by DON KRAMER & MICHAEL BABINSKI
Cover by PHILIP TAN & JONATHAN GLAPION
When Looker returns, her bloodlust is strong – and so is the vampire-hunter hoping to drive a stake in her heart. Her only hope for survival is The Outsiders, who are still stranded in Markovia and struggling to determine whose side they’re really on…

Dave thinks to himself: If you’re reading this, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RED ROBIN #11
On sale APRIL 7 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Written by CHRISTOPHER YOST
Art and cover by MARCUS TO & RAY MCCARTHY
“Collision” races to its conclusion as Ra’s al Ghul’s endgame for Red Robin begins. The Men of Death are on the move in Gotham City, and Red Robin, Batgirl and Prudence set out to stop them from killing everyone Bruce Wayne ever cared about. But before he can take on Ra’s, Red Robin has to get past Gotham City’s own protectors…

Dave says: Vest book in comics? What’s a vest book? I probably meant BEST book. But yeah, it’s awesome and such. Buy it, or I’lly kill a puppy. No, I love dogs. Maybe a kitten. Dammit, I can’t do at either. A cockroach? I’ll kill a cockroach. But that might be a public service. I’m going to be a lawyer soon, and pro bono ain’t my style. I’ll kill your grandmother. Too aggressive? Even I think so, and I’m fairly wasted. What if I just say please? OK? Please buy this book.

SUPERMAN: LAST STAND OF NEW KRYPTON #2-3
Issue #2 on sale APRIL 7 • Issue #3 on sale APRIL 28 • 2 and 3 of 3 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US
Written by JAMES ROBINSON & STERLING GATES • Art by PETE WOODS • Issue 2 cover by GEORGE P…REZ • Issue 3 cover by RYAN SOOK
1:25 variant covers by MARCOS MARZ •
LAST STAND OF NEW KRYPTON ships twice in April as the biggest Superman story in years rockets towards its mind-blowing conclusion!
In issue #2, things look bleak for the Kryptonians as Brainiac reveals his trump card for destroying the planet, leaving Zod grasping at straws as to how to defend his people. But Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes have made it aboard Brainiac’s ship, determined to stop the tyrant at any cost!
In #3, the epic conclusion, Superman and Zod must work together if they’re to have a chance of stopping Brainiac! But a victory for New Krypton means a devastating loss for the Legion!
Over a year’s worth of stories builds to the final page of this series, and you don’t want to miss it!
Over a year’s worth of New Krypton stories has been building up to the final page of this series, and once you see it, you’ll know there’s only one outcome: the WAR OF THE SUPERMEN!
Retailers please note: These issues will ship with two covers each. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.

Dave syas: DO NOT CARE! I won’t review any other Superman comics, because that statemtn summarizes my feelings on the matter.

DOC SAVAGE #1
On sale APRIL 14 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US
Written by PAUL MALMONT • Co-feature written by JASON STARR • Art by HOWARD PORTER & Art Thibert • Co-feature art by SCOTT HAMPTON • Cover by J.G. JONES
1:10 variant cover by John Cassaday
The Man of Bronze in his own series at last! Doc Savage is the target of a brazen attack on New York City! Tragedy will strike one of Doc’s compatriots, and someone may not survive the opening pages of “The Lord of Lightning! ” Written by Paul Malmont, national best-selling author of The Chinatown Death-Cloud Peril, with art by Howard Porter (JLA)!
And don’t miss the hard-hitting JUSTICE, INC. co-feature, starring Richard Benson, the Avenger! When criminals abduct one of his own detectives, Benson’s icy heart sears with a rage hotter than any he’s ever known. “Worst Nightmare” begins here, written by crime novelist Jason Starr (THE CHILL) with art by Scott Hampton (LUCIFER)!
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.

Dave says: I ain’t never HEARD OF Doc Savage until a few months ago. So will I buy this? Seems unlikely. But JG JONES (FROM Y, SPIFFY) is doing the cover. And that’s neat-o.

THE SPIRIT #1
On sale APRIL 21 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US
Written by MARK SCHULTZ • Co-feature written by Dennis O’Neil • Art by MORITAT
Co-feature art by Bill Sienkiewicz • Cover by LADR÷NN • 1:10 variant cover by MARK SCHULTZ
The Spirit returns in an all-new ongoing series! Central City destroys everyone who lives within its borders…so it’s a good thing The Spirit already died once! International crime syndicate The Golden Tree wants to help Central City’s Octopus consolidate control over the underworld and the Spirit is the kind of mess the Golden Tree was created to clean up. They’ve offered the Octopus the services of one of their finest assassins to take his breath away for good – and the sight of this killer would get anyone’s heart pounding!
This issue also features the debut of the eight-page THE SPIRIT: BLACK & WHITE co-feature, showcasing the industry’s finest talent. And who better to kick things off than DENNIS O’NEIL and BILL SIENKIEWICZ?
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.

Dave: I heard the movie with Samuel L. Jackson sucked. And I’ve never heard of Mark Schultz, though I assume he’s realated to Mark hamil (he played Luke Sykewalker and was in Jay and Silent Bob Strike the Fuck Back and voiced the Joker in cartoons). I doubt I buy this. If I want Spirit, (yes I do, I want Spirit, how bout YOU), I’ll buy Eisner’s stuff.

BRAVE AND THE BOLD #33
On sale APRIL 21 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Written by J. MICHAEL STRACZYNSKI
Art by CLIFF CHIANG
Cover by JESUS SAIZ
Oh yes, it’s ladies’ night! Batgirl, Wonder Woman and Zatanna enjoy a nice, peaceful evening on the town that absolutely won’t be interrupted by any kind of superheroic hijinks whatsoever… and if you believe that, there’s a giant bronze globe in Metropolis we’d like to sell you!

davey sais: Hey, there’s a giant bronze globe in Metropolis for sale!!!

BOOSTER GOLD #31
On sale APRIL 14 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Written by DAN JURGENS
Art and cover by DAN JURGENS & NORM RAPMUND
Booster Gold’s life changes forever when he learns the true fate of his sister, Goldstar. And it’s during this personal crisis that a nemesis from the past decides to pay Booster a visit.

Dave sayd: If you were wondering when Giffen adn DeMatteis are taking over this title, which I WAS, then now you know that it’s no until after April. Spiffy usded to read this book. Let’s see what he says about it:

Spiffy: I touch myself to pictures of Avril lavigne!

Weird.

JUSTICE LEAGUE: THE RISE OF ARSENAL #2
On sale APRIL 28 • 2 of 4 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US
Written by J.T. KRUL
Art by GERALDO BORGES & MARLO ALQUIZA
Cover by GREG HORN
Spinning out of CRY FOR JUSTICE, “The Rise and Fall” continues here as Roy Harper discovers that getting a prosthetic arm doesn’t make him whole again, he’s also forced to deal with Green Arrow’s shocking revelation from JUSTICE LEAGUE: THE RISE AND FALL SPECIAL #1. And sparks fly when Roy’s old flame Cheshire shows up…to kill him!

Spiffy says: Who’s Arsenal? I’m a dick who can’t afford comics anymore becuase I spend too much money on nude photos of Goki!

Dave says: Well, you’re a fool, and not just because you could get those Goki photos for free. Arsenal is a badass, who’s becoming mor eprominetnt these days. Unfortunately, the thrid archer, Conor Hawke, seems to have all but disappeared. A crying shame, and I mean that.

GREEN ARROW #32
On sale APRIL 14 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Written by J.T. KRUL
Art by FEDERICO DALLOCCHIO
Cover by MAURO CASCIOLI
Spinning out of CRY FOR JUSTICE, “The Rise and Fall” continues in “The Fall of Green Arrow” continues with Oliver Queen as a fugitive from justice. But what happens when the Justice League of America learn of his crime? The Emerald Archer’s relationship with the World’s Greatest Heroes will never be the same.
bDavie says to YOU: I thoguh this book was Green arrow/Black Canary?? Are they going to break up before April? And why is Ollie on the run? Guess I (=society) better start paying attention to this sucker. Nice cover, btw.

JSA ALL-STARS #5
On sale APRIL 7 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US
Written by MATTHEW STURGES
Co-feature written by JEN VAN METER
Art and cover by FREDDIE WILLIAMS II
Co-feature art by TRAVIS MOORE & DAN GREEN
The Injustice Society may have found the All-Stars’ new headquarters, but Cyclone, of all people, has found a way to turn their own allies against them! Meanwhile, Stargirl shares an intimate moment with a teammate, which could be a BIG mistake!
And in the co-feature, the search for the mysterious Staff of Life leads to some strange partnerships when their objectives force Liberty Belle and Tigress to pair up in order to find Hourman and Icicle!

Dave writes: Back when Spiffy was a co-writer of these, he and I once did a bit about how we loved Freddie Williams II, even though neither of us had ever seen anything by him. Or maybe I’l making that up. But I think it happened. Anyway, it turns out ol’ Freddie really is the shit indeed, so we were right, if we did indeed ever have suich a talk. Regardless, Matt Sturges is cool. But this book!

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #38
On sale APRIL 28 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Written by BILL WILLINGHAM • Art by JESUS MERINO
& JESSE DELPERDANG • Cover by JESUS MERINO
The Nazis have succeeded and taken over America, which is leading to the scheduled executions of the major heroes and villains in the U.S.! But Mr. Terrific may have figured out a way to topple the Fourth Reich using their own Darkness Engine against them…

Dave: Wtf? I love Willingham, and can’t wait to see where he continues to take this book, but I have no clue where this solit is talking about. Maybe tghat’s because I haven’t yet read Juanry, Ferbruary, and March’s issues? Yeah, the whole Preview Review concept is mildly stupid.

POWER GIRL #11
On sale APRIL 21 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Written by JIMMY PALMIOTTI & JUSTIN GRAY
Art and cover by AMANDA CONNER
Power Girl’s life has been torn apart, and the last thing she needs is to find out that one of her closest allies is now one of her deadliest enemies! But, we’re sorry to say, that’s exactly what Satanna has managed to serve up!

David says: Carlos Santana, one the greatest guitarists ever, apparently is in this issue. P>S>: Power Girl’s ‘boob window” is retarded. Impossible for me to take her seriously when her entire costume is designed for fanboys to beat off to.

SECRET SIX #20
On sale APRIL 14 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Written by GAIL SIMONE • Art by JIM CALAFIORE
Cover by DANIEL LUVISI
Catman heads off to the African continent to find the three men who kidnapped his long lost son! He’s been pushed to the very limit, so when the rest of the Secret Six come to his aid, don’t be surprised if Catman decides to kill off his teammates as well!

David: Do not read. Probably should. Simone = awesome.

TEEN TITANS #82
On sale APRIL 28 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US
Written by FELICIA D. HENDERSON • Co-feature written by SEAN MCKEEVER • Art by JOE BENNETT & JACK JADSON
Co-feature art  and cover by YILDIRAY CINAR & J/LIO FERREIRA
Now that Superboy is reunited with the Teen Titans, Wonder Girl’s discovering what having her boyfriend around all the time means — and it’s not all good.
bDavid: Spoiler alert: this solit refers to Superboy’s inability to find the clitoris.

DANTE’S INFERNO #5
On sale APRIL 14 • 5 of 6 • 32 pg, FC, $3.99 US
MATURE READERS
Written by CHRISTOS GAGE • Art and cover by DIEGO LATORRE
Dante battles his deadliest foe yet – Beatrice, the woman he loves, transformed into the Queen of Hell! He descended into the Inferno to save her, but now he’ll have to choose between killing her or dying by her hand!

David says in a snooty tone: I’ve read the real Dante’s Inferno. And the Purgartorio. And the Paradiso. Just saying … I’m better than you.

ROBOTECH: PRELUDE TO THE SHADOW CHRONICLES TP
Advance-solicited • On sale MAY 26 • 128 pg, FC, $17.99 US
Written by TOMMY YUNE, JASON WALTRIP & JOHN WALTRIP
Art by OMAR DOGAN • Cover by TOMMY YUNE
Collecting the 5-issue miniseries from 2005, this new collection explores the mysterious circumstances behind the disappearance of Admiral Rick Hunter!

David: RoboCop 2 was on TV today. I didn’t watch it.

NEIL YOUNG’S GREENDALE HC
Advance-solicited • On sale June 9 • 160 pg, FC, $19.99 US • MATURE READERS
Written by JOSHUA DYSART • Art and cover by CLIFF CHIANG
Legendary singer-songwriter, musician and activist Neil Young brings one of his most personal albums, GREENDALE, to comics. Overseeing the work of acclaimed writer Joshua Dysart (UNKNOWN SOLDIER) and fan-favorite artist Cliff Chiang (HUMAN TARGET), they compose a graphic novel that explores a whole new dimension to the album that Rolling Stone voted as one of the best of its year.
In the Fall of 2003, as the nation gallops into war, a politically active teenage girl named Sun lives, loves and dreams in a small California town named Greendale.
Sun’s always been different. There’s been talk that the women in her family have all had a preternatural communion with nature. And when a Stranger comes to town – a character whose presence causes Greendale to, well, go to hell – she’ll find herself on a journey both mystical and mythical. To face the Stranger, she’ll unearth the secrets of her family in a political coming-of-age story infused with its own special magic.

Mr. YOungblood says: Neil Young is writing comics?? Maybe he should stick to writing songs that piss off Lynyrd Skynyrd. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then christ, listen to some fucking classic rock you ignorant fuck.

JOE THE BARBARIAN #4
On sale APRIL 21 • 4 of 8 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US, MATURE READERS
Written by GRANT MORRISON
Art and cover by SEAN MURPHY
Who are the mysterious Sorcerors of Inventoria, and why have they taken a vow of cowardice? The mysteries of the Iron Kingdom and its relationship to Joe’s real world are revealed at last, and a new companion joins the doomed fellowship for a voyage into Ultimate Darkness.

David sayds: Will I still be buying this book in April? I don’tknow. I wish this were the MAY Preview Review, because then, I would make a pun about how I MAY buy this.

FABLES #95
On sale APRIL 14 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US, MATURE READERS
Written by BILL WILLINGHAM
Art by MARK BUCKINGHAM & STEVE LEIALOHA
Cover by JOAO RUAS
“Rose Red” part 2 of 5! As trouble brews outside her bedroom window at the Farm, Rose reluctantly pulls herself out of the depression pit and into the heart of war. †It’s the former Adversary vs. the newfound Nightmare and the future looks very very dim for the misplaced denizens of Fabletown.

David: I would give Bill Willingham a handjob if it were the only way to keep Fables going. I wish I hadn’t just admitted that.

CINDERELLA: FROM FABLETOWN WITH LOVE #6
On sale APRIL 7 • 6 of 6 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • MATURE READERS
Written by CHRIS ROBERSON • Art by SHAWN MCMANUS
Cover by CHRISSIE ZULLO
Cindy’s quest to stem the tide of black-market magics leads her straight to the source. Now the fates of worlds hang in the balance. With her only ally in chains and only the humblest of all her assets at her disposal, does she have the slightest hope for survival?

Davud says to you: Willingham is so good that even though this is the first FABLES-related book he isn’t at least co-writing, it still eminates his greatness.

JACK OF FABLES #45
On sale APRIL 28 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • MATURE READERS
Written by BILL WILLINGHAM & MATTHEW STURGES
Art by TONY AKINS & ANDREW PEPOY • Cover by BRIAN BOLLAND
Jack Frost has finally come face-to-face with the Empyrean, but it’s clear that someone somewhere along the way has been lying about what this is all about. In fact, it’s beginning to seem as if everyone everywhere along the way has been lying…

Davidry214 says: I miss the REAL Jack — Jack Horner. Whatev. I’ll get used to his son, Jack frost.

SAGA OF THE SWAMP THING BOOK 3 HC
Advance-solicited • On sale June 23 • 208 pg, FC, $24.99 US
MATURE READERS
Written by ALAN MOORE • Art by STEPHEN BISSETTE, JOHN TOTLEBEN, RICK VEITCH & others
Cover by STEPHEN BISSETTE & JOHN TOTLEBEN
Collecting issues #35-42 of Alan Moore’s award-winning SWAMP THING, this volume brims with visceral horrors including underwater vampires, a werewolf with an unusual curse, and the debut of John Constantine!

Dave says: I wrote a whole PROJECT about this. If you didn’t read it, then you’re a dick. But damn, Moore’s swamp Thing was so frickin good. Honestly, it’s close to Watchmen level.

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7 Responses to “Preview Reviews for April: DC edition, BITCHES!”

  1. davidry214 Says:

    As you guys can probably tell, these Preview Reviews did not go through any sort of editing process. I’d do so now that I’m sober, but the typos are the closest thing to comedy in there.

  2. dillonmania Says:

    It’s a new flash series!!! I thought Wally was faster than Barry? So how can this book still be the faster man alive?> maybe our resident Flash expert, Lia, can clear up who the fastest Flash is, in the event she reads this post (UNLIKELY).

    I all but guarantee you that Barry’s now the fastest, given that he’s the premier Flash these days, and he’s now the retconny source of the Speed Force.

    But regardless, I’ll give it a shot. Interesting that Johns’ old spaRRING PARTNERM, Apollo Creed (by whom I mean Scott Kolins) isn’t teaming up again for the new book.

    Kolins was doing the Wally West backup with Johns, but now that’s cancelled.

    Instead, it’s Francis Manapul, who I can only assume is related to Frances McDormand (?) who was in Fargo and Dances with Wolves. Do they have those movies in canada, Lia?>!>? Probably not: no hocky or curling in either.

    Francis Manapul is Canadian, interestingly enough. From Toronto, my hometown, and I see him at every con.

    When Looker returns, her bloodlust is strong

    Looker gets points for being one of only two comics characters named Lia (the other being Tangent Flash).

    I would give Bill Willingham a handjob if it were the only way to keep Fables going. I wish I hadn’t just admitted that.

    But you did, and we’ll remember this.

  3. Gokitalo Says:

    Wiggity wam wam wazzle!

    BWAHAHAAAAA

    More later.

  4. spiffyithaca Says:

    Clearly DRINK MORE COMICS would have been a more fitting title of this fine blog. I fucking loved this. When you texted me saying you were drunk and did this, I figured you were overplaying how drunk you were. But the typo’s don’t lie. Leaving them in is the correct editorial decision.

    I already told you this via text, but we must try and bring this back when we’re both drunk. It could be legendary.

    THE SECOND BEST: Your sidenote about Superboy’s inability to find the clitoris.

    LMAO: “You’re not Martin Scorsese, assholt”, Willingham and handjobs,

    LOL: Apollo Creed/Scott Kolins, me fucking a paraplegic, you threatening to kill our grandmothers, your Spirit line, Avril Lavigne, Neil Young, etc.

    Perhaps the best part is that at some ungodly hour of the night, when you’re hammered, you find it within yourself to put this whole thing together and actually made it through both companies. Well done.

    Goki spotted the best line in both of these posts, lmao. Pure unadulterated brilliance.

  5. gokitalo Says:

    Everything Spiff just said, I echo. Also, the Superman thing made me cry (because I’m the only one who cares) and laugh (because I’m the only one who cares) at the same time. Seriously, you and/or Spiff should do more of these; drunk or sober, they’re hilarious. Although doing one with both of you guys drunk would be epic.

  6. davidry214 Says:

    I could barely make it through this with just me drunk. I think both of us being wasted could easily be hilarious or a disaster. But I’m up for trying it.

    I mentioned it to Spiffy via text, but another favorite or mine, other than the ones you guys have said, was “Guillem March? More like Guillem April, jackass” — just because it’s so lame that it becomes funny.

    I also like the nude Goki pictures bit (I also just enjoy nude Goki pictures in general), and how I just started incoherently rambling on Flash about nothing in particular. Lia, I’m glad you proved me wrong by reading these.

  7. davidry214 Says:

    Oh, and I really love that at one point, I felt the need to explain who Mark Hamill is (to a blog of fanboys, no less).

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