PREVIEW MOTHERFUCKING REVIEWS: NOVERMBER — DC (NSFW)

by

Holy FUCK I;m drunk. I just did a post about Ben Affleck, for whatever reason, and it literallt took me seven edits to get the post seemingly mistake-free (and there was probs still somethign wrong). But now, I’m even drunker, and it’s time for the coup d’grace, and there shall be no edits this thing; whatver drunkenly happens, haoppens. I’m way too far gone to care about typos now, assuming I get through this post at all.

I found DC’s solits for December on newsarama for Dec, but not Marvel’s so I’ll theoretically do just Nov for both, assuming I don’t pass out before completion. BTW, I texted Spiff before starting this endeavor (don’t have Goki’s cell, sadly), but got no immediate response and can’t delay without crashing hardcores.e

HOLY FUCKING FUCK it just took me two minutes to jsut copt the DC solits for ZNovemb, so god knows how long they are, even with me deleting and/or skipping shit.

BATMAN, INC. #1
Written by GRANT MORRISON
Art and cover by YANICK PAQUETTE
1:25 Variant cover by ANDY KUBERT
1:200 Sketch variant cover by YANICK PAQUETTE
Grant Morrison continues his earth-shattering run on the Batman titles with this exciting, new ongoing series! Featuring art by the remarkable Yanick Paquette (SEVEN SOLDIERS: BULLETEER), BATMAN, INC. marks the next stage of evolution for The Dark Knight. This can’t-miss series will star not just Bruce Wayne as Batman, but also a huge number of guest-stars! Don’t miss out on this all-new start to a stunning direction for Batman!
Retailers please note: This issue ships with three covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 3 • 32 pg, FC, $3.99 US

Dave: Yanick Paquette? That’s noe the same chuick as Y, right? Sound sfamiliar, thoughs. Whatever. Morriosn has kinda lost it lately.

High-end chrome-plated Batman auto emblem. Officially licensed.

Earn a Masters Degree Online in Educational Technology. Apply today

Celebrate 60 years of PEANUTS Play the Great Pumpkin Countdown.

HOLY UNINTENTIONAL COPIED ADVERTISEMENTS, BATMAN!!!!

BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT #1
Written by DAVID FINCH
Art by DAVID FINCH & SCOTT WILLIAMS
Cover by DAVID FINCH
1:25 Variant cover by ANDY CLARKE
1:200 Sketch variant cover by DAVID FINCH
Comics superstar David Finch takes full creative control (both writing and illustrating!) on this brand-new Batman monthly series! Joined by the best of the best – Scott Williams – on inks, this new series is sure to be on everyone’s must-read pile! Delving into the more supernatural and esoteric areas of Gotham City, the 6-part storyline explores the horrific murder of one of Bruce Wayne’s childhood friends…and the terrible ramifications the brutal crime has on Batman’s life!
Retailers please note: This issue ships with three covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 24 • 32 pg, FC, $3.99 US

BATWOMAN #0
Written by J.H. WILLIAMS III & W. HADEN BLACKMAN
Art by J.H. WILLIAMS III and AMY REEDER with RICHARD FRIEND
Cover by J.H. WILLIAMS III
1:10 Variant cover by AMY REEDER
“I suspect that Batwoman is socialite Kate Kane. I intend to prove it beyond a shadow. I need to know if she can be trusted, what her motivations are. I’m going undercover.” – Batman: Mission Log Entry 2756
Featuring a unique story composition that combines the art of Eisner Award-winner J.H. Williams III (DETECTIVE COMICS, PROMETHEA) and Amy Reeder (MADAME XANADU), this special #0 issue acts as a new introduction into the life of Batwoman! Things pick up roughly where the BATWOMAN: ELEGY HC left off, and this issue acts as a primer for the upcoming new series featuring multiple award-winning creators!
Retailers please note: This issue ships with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 24 • 32 pg, FC, $3.99 US

Dave: “I’m going undercove as someoe who wants to butt-fuck Batwoeman. Will I succedd? How much anal tube is enough? TIME WILL TELL!!!”

BATMAN #704
Written by TONY DANIEL
Art and cover by TONY DANIEL
Welcome back Tony Daniel as regular writer/artist on BATMAN!
Bruce Wayne may have returned, but when an aging but wealthy technology developer comes to Gotham with his beautiful daughter, it turns out he’s in search of a joint project with WayneTech. DNA tracking is the name of his game, and there are others interested in his proposal. But when the developer goes missing, Batman finds that his tracks stop in the city’s violent Chinatown neighborhood, where a new deadly Triad gang has taken root. Guest-starring I-Ching! 
On sale NOVEMBER 17 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

BDavae: Hehe, joint project.

BATMAN & ROBIN #17
Written by PETER J. TOMASI
Art by PATRICK GLEASON & MARK IRWIN
Cover by PATRICK GLEASON
1:10 Variant cover by GENE HA
From the pages of the best-selling BRIGHTEST DAY and GREEN LANTERN CORPS comes the new regular creative team of writer Peter J. Tomasi and artist Patrick Gleason! Kicking off the action is “Dark Knight, White Knight” part 1 of 3, as Bruce Wayne returns from the dead, and Gotham City finds itself locked in the grip of chaos! Dick Grayson and Damian Wayne come face-to-face with what could possibly be the strangest Bat Villain yet. Who is the White Knight, and why is he hell-bent on making Gotham City into Heaven on Earth?
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 10 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Dave: Peter J. Tomasi’s inclusion means I can dump this title guilt-free, knowing it has no future upside.

KNIGHT & SQUIRE #2
Written by PAUL CORNELL
Art by JIMMY BROXTON
Cover by YANICK PAQUETTE & MICHAEL LACOMBE
In this second issue, our trusty heroes venture into rural England – or as they know it, home. But when someone starts using dangerous dark magic, they spring into action only to face a surprising and unassuming enemy. Can they take down a powerful magical enemy and still make it home for supper?
On sale NOVEMBER 10 • 2 of 6 • 32 pg, FC $2.99 US

Davaroono: And if they don’t make it home for supperm, awhat awaits our heroes? Leftover salad? Sun-tried tomatoes? The remaining half of the Dos Equis beer I’m drinking? Or just a condom? Jst a motherfucking used condom that, thank god, is banana-flavored? Banana. B-A-N-A-N-A, BANANA! OH OH BANANA!

BATMAN/CATWOMAN: FOLLOW THE MONEY #1
Written by HOWARD CHAYKIN
Art and cover by HOWARD CHAYKIN
The Cavalier – that’s the Z-lister with the swords, right? So how’d he manage to frame Catwoman for a run of burglaries? And how on Earth did he manage the more spectacular crime of cleaning out the Wayne Enterprises pension fund and framing Bruce Wayne for the deed? However impressive he may appear to be, The Cavalier will quickly learn that frame-ups like that cut both ways, as both Batman and Catwoman begin tracking the Gotham City villain in this stand-alone one-shot from comics legend Howard Chaykin!
ONE-SHOT • On sale NOVEMBER 3 • 56 pg, FC, $4.99 US

bdAVE: wELL, SINCE IT’S HOWARD CHAYKIN, AT LEASY WE KNOW THAERE’S SOME SWEET BORDERLINE PORN INSIDE WITH LITTLE SOTRY.

BATMAN: ODYSSEY #5
Written by NEAL ADAMS
Art and cover by NEAL ADAMS
1:25 Black and white variant cover by NEAL ADAMS
Batman knows his Odyssey must happen soon before he loses himself, but Deadman invades The Dark Knight’s world and only sees the inevitable crash and burn of his old friend. Should Deadman add to Batman’s “crash” – or hold off and give the Caped Crusader a few last moments of relative peace? This is Deadman we’re talking about – of course he’s going to step in!
Oh, and there’s one more thorn in Batman’s side – in this issue, The Joker arrives!
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 3 • 5 of 13 • 40 pg, FC $3.99 US

Might have failed to take off caps lock in that last one.

BATMAN BEYOND #6
Written by ADAM BEECHEN
Art by RYAN BENJAMIN & JOHN STANISCI
Cover by DUSTIN NGUYEN
Hush is about to take care of Batman’s Super-Villain problem forever – so why is Terry risking everything to stop him? Maybe it’s the “scorched Earth” plan Hush hopes to unleash to complete his mission! It’s the earthshaking conclusion to our first trip back to Neo-Gotham – better hope it’s not the last!
On sale NOVEMBER 17 • 6 of 6 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Davidyh} Seriously, I can’t get “Norn to Run” out of my head since re-warching tyhe Grammy’s opneder again to repky to Spiffry’s post.

RED HOOD: LOST DAYS #6
Written by JUDD WINICK
Art by JEREMY HAUN
Cover by BILLY TUCCI
In this series finale, Jason Todd takes his final steps to becoming the Red Hood, and his last lessons are about to be learned. Confronting Talia al Ghul and meeting a new player who’s calling himself Hush are the tip of the iceberg as Jason readies himself to confront the one who “made this all possible” – The Joker. Witness the end of the beginning right here!
On sale NOVEMBER 3 • 6 of 6 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

David says: I Intended to buy this. But hey, if “red Hood” refers to a girl’s period, then the subtitl;e to this series shoudl totally be “Lost Sex Opportunies”! Am I right?! Or maybe I’m giving too much insight to my current sexual frsutration. Goki, don’t right the preceding comments; this is no place for virgin eyes.

RED ROBIN #17
Written by FABIAN NICIEZA
Art and cover by MARCUS TO & RAY MCCARTHY
How does the return of Bruce Wayne and the beginning of Batman, Inc. work into Red Robin’s plan to initiate an international stranglehold on crime? If Batman approves of everything Red Robin has set in motion, what will he do when his protÈgÈ decides to release the gang-leader-and-maybe-undercover-cop Lynx from prison? And guess which surprise guest star you’ll see when Red Robin takes a quick trip to Hong Kong!
On sale NOVEMBER 10 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

I Don’t care wahat Spiffy says, I fucking lvoe me some RED ROBIN, even if it;s also a burger jouint. Hehe, joint.

SUPERBOY #1
Written by JEFF LEMIRE
Art by PIER GALLO
Cover by RAFAEL ALBUQUERQUE
1:10 Variant cover by JOHN CASSADAY
Superboy is back in a brand-new ongoing series! Join Jeff Lemire (SWEET TOOTH) and amazing up-and-coming artist Pier Gallo as they take Superboy on a journey to a side of Smallville not even Superman knows about! What mysteries lurk beneath the surface of this all-American town – and what are their direct ties to Superboy? The start of the next great DC Universe epic begins right here!
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 3 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Unless Kristin Kreuk does porn in this issue of Chuck, I don’t care.

ACTION COMICS #895
Written by PAUL CORNELL
Co-feature written by NICK SPENCER
Art by PETE WOODS
Co-feature art by RB SILVA & DENIS FRIETAS
Cover by DAVID FINCH & BATT
Lex Luthor has had an incredibly difficult time of it lately, what with fighting master assassin Deathstroke, avoiding being eaten by Gorilla Grodd, and even meeting Death herself! Now he’s finally back at his office in Metropolis, so he can relax a little bit – oh shoot, Lex, watch out for Vandal Savage and that axe!
In the Jimmy Olsen co-feature, Superman’s pal has to convince a bunch of bloodthirsty aliens that Earth is too boring and staid to host the universe’s biggest (and most destructive) party. But how exactly is he going to do that? (Everyone, put on a bow tie!)
On sale NOVEMBER 24 * 40 pg, FC $3.99 US

Davearoo says: Unless Jimmy Olsen saves the day by wearing a bowite, thern he had nothing on the end of Independecnce Day, with the GREATEST ACTOR OF OUR TIME, Randy Quaid (the even greatestest, Jeff Goldblum, is also in that film; I would let Andy suck his dick, I’m not ashamed to say).

SUPERMAN #705
Written by J. MICHAEL STRACZYNSKI
Art by EDDY BARROWS & J.P. MAYER
Cover by JOHN CASSADAY
1:10 Variant cover by YANICK PAQUETTE & MICHEL LACOMBE
“Grounded” part 5 brings The Man of Steel to Des Moines, Iowa! A chance encounter, however, suddenly thrusts Superman back in time. So somehow he’s Superboy again, the world is on the brink of nuclear Armageddon, and it’s all his fault!
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 10 * 32 pg, FC $2.99 US

Dave: OMG! Superman in Des Moines, Iowa! HOW MOTHERFUCKING EXCITING!!!!!!! Pretty sad when Oklahoma looks cool by comparison; of course, OKC has an NBA team, so we look cool even compared to SEATTLE (my obligatory FUCK YOU to Spiffy and friends). But Iowa still had field of Dreams, one of the top three sports movies ever (with Hoosiers and Rocky).

SUPERGIRL #58
Written by STERLING GATES
Art by JAMAL IGLE & JON SIBAL
Cover by AMY REEDER & RICHARD FRIEND
1:10 “DC 75th Anniversary” Variant cover by AMANDA CONNER
Cat Grant is in trouble. And not just “missed her deadline and Perry White’s furious” trouble. Really bad trouble. And the only hero who she can turn to for help is the one she’s been bad-mouthing in the Daily Planet for months – Supergirl! Will the Girl of Steel let bygones be bygones? Or should this Cat hope she still has at least one more of her nine
lives left?
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 17 * 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Davey: I met Sterling Gates once. Just saying.

SUPERMAN/BATMAN #78
Written by JOE KELLY
Art and cover by ED BENES
It’s open season on the World’s Finest as it looks like all their worst enemies have joined forces to take down both Batman and Superman. Who could possibly be behind this carefully coordinated attack?
On sale NOVEMBER 17 * 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Dave remarks: Who could be behind that attack? Shocklingly, Aldous Huxley.

WONDER WOMAN #605
Written by J. MICHAEL STRACZYNSKI
Art and cover by DON KRAMER & JAY LEISTEN
1:10 Variant cover by ALEX GARNER
As Wonder Woman continues her quest to find out exactly what happened to her current reality and who is ultimately responsible, she encounters the first of the three most deadly gods known to man. Together, they comprise…the Morrigan!
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 24 * 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Dave: So, I first read thart at “The Morrison,” and was going to make a Doors reference, But now I can’t./ Whateb.

BRIGHTEST DAY #13-14
Written by GEOFF JOHNS & PETER J. TOMASI
Art by IVAN REIS, PAT GLEASON, ARDIAN SYAF, SCOTT CLARK and JOE PRADO
Covers by DAVID FINCH
1:10 Variant covers by IVAN REIS
Don’t miss the hottest event in comics as BRIGHTEST DAY continues with the search for a new White Lantern. And Martian Manhunter returns to Mars as we discover the origin of the creature mysteriously stalking him. Plus, the evil within Firestorm now haunts Professor Stein! And Hawkman: betrayed!
Retailers please note: These issues ship with two covers each. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
Issue #13 on sale NOVEMBER 3
Issue #14 on sale NOVEMBER 17
32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Dube: This week in Brightest Day: Brian Michael Bendis!

JUSTICE LEAGUE: GENERATION LOST #13-14
Written by JUDD WINICK
Issue #13 art by JOE BENNETT
Issue #14 art by AARON LOPRESTI
Covers by DUSTIN NGUYEN
1:10 Variant covers by KEVIN MAGUIRE
DC’s biweekly JUSTICE LEAGUE event continues!
In issue #13, Max Lord sends his newest recruit to confront the JLI. But what happens when Magog tries to kill Captain Atom in a fight to the finish? Someone will die, creating repercussions that will affect the future timeline of KINGDOM COME!
In issue #14, the JLI has been framed for murder. Now, hunted by Checkmate and put on the world’s Most Wanted lists, our heroes are exhausted and pushed to their limits – which is why the Creature Commandos choose now as an opportune time to attack them!
Retailers please note: These issues will ship with two covers each. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
Issue #13 on sale NOVEMBER 10
Issue #14 on sale NOVEMBER 24
32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Dude: Scott Kolins did a one-shot of JSA about Kinhsom Come that was suppose to conclude things, but it was shity, and I’d rather see Winick’s take. Waht is th e Eciles make a guest spot> How cool would that be? Morph would be all, “HEY BOOSTER< I CAN LOOK JUST LIKE YOU!” Only with better writing?

GREEN LANTERN #60
Written by GEOFF JOHNS
Art and cover by DOUG MAHNKE & CHRISTIAN ALAMY
1:10 “DC 75th Anniversary” Variant cover by FRANK QUITELY
BRIGHTEST DAY continues as the truth about the Indigo Tribe members is revealed along with their Entity: the enigmatic Proselyte.
Plus, don’t miss a special Green Lantern movie image!
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 24 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Dave types: The GL movie image: Two Guys, a Girl, and a Galactic Warzone Pizza Place. Get it? GET IT? You better get that.

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #54
Written by TONY BEDARD
Art and cover by TYLER KIRKHAM & BATT
1:10 Variant cover by PATRICK GLEASON
The new ongoing art team of rising star Tyler Kirkham and dynamic inker Batt kicks this BRIGHTEST DAY tie-in into high gear as Kyle Rayner attempts to recruit Sinestro in a mission to save his daughter Soranik Natu! But the leader of the Yellow Lanterns is more concerned with exterminating the “alley rat” Emerald Warrior, and the pair face off in hand-to-hand combat!
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 17 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Davr: Kyle should kill Sinestro. Seriousyly. Then, he talks to Hal and says, “That wasn’t hard at all. What did you build that up so much for?”

GREEN LANTERN: EMERALD WARRIORS #4
Written by PETER J. TOMASI
Art by FERNANDO PASARIN & CAM SMITH
Cover by RODOLFO MIGLIARI
1:25 Variant cover by FELIPE MASSAFERA
Green Lantern battles Green Lantern and a new villain storms the scene. But what are his plans and what association does he have with a tiny, mysterious hooded figure? Plus, Guy Gardner’s rage boils up!
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 10 • 32 pg, FC, $3.99 US

Davr: Yay dfor two covers! Are you getting your 1990s on?

THE FLASH #8
Written by GEOFF JOHNS
Art and cover by SCOTT KOLINS
1:10 Variant cover by STANLEY “ARTGERM” LAU
“Reverse Flash Rebirth!” In this FLASHPOINT prelude, don’t miss the epic telling of the origin of Barry Allen’s greatest foe, Professor Zoom! Eobard Thawne’s story is just beginning — and he intends to finish it with The Flash!
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 24 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

D: bThank god. Just the other day I ws saying, ‘You know what Johns really needs? More retcons.”

GREEN ARROW #6
Written by J.T. KRUL
Art by DIOGENES NEVES & VICENTE CIFUENTES
Cover by MAURO CASCIOLI
1:10 variant cover by RUDOLFO MIGLIARI
Green Arrow infiltrates Queen Industries to confront the Queen head-on. What shocking revelations will she reveal – and why is she wearing his mother’s ring? The answer may drive Ollie over the edge – again! And what lurks in the shadows that may spell the Emerald Archer’s doom?
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 24 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

DY: She’s either olie’s mother or stepmother, it’s been obvious from#1. Don’t build it up to be more than it is, which its super ovbious. The only real question is who will be Ollie’s first rebound fuck after Dinah left him (My money had been on Martian Manhunter, but his guest role came and went more quickly than a virgin cameo).

BOOSTER GOLD #38
Written by KEITH GIFFEN & J.M. DEMATTEIS
Art by CHRIS BATISTA & RICH PERROTTA
Cover by DAN JURGENS & JERRY ORDWAY
What do Booster Gold and World War II have in common? Not a lot. What do Maxwell Lord and World War II have in common? Quite a bit, actually. Join Booster, Skeets and (Heaven, help us) General Glory as they take on Nazis, mad scientists and whatever else we can throw in. Oh yeah, and Booster is forced to make a choice that could alter the DCU forever…
On sale NOVEMBER 10  • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Finally, the issue where we see what happened if Booster fucked Hippolyta and became Wonder Woman’s father.

JLA/THE 99 #2
Written by FABIAN NICIEZA & STUART MOORE
Art by TOM DERENICK & DREW GERACI
Cover by FELIPE MASSAFERA
The groundbreaking crossover between DC Comics’ JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA and Teshkeel Comics’ THE 99 continues…
Someone – or some thing – has taken over the minds of many of Earth’s civilian population. And to make matters worse, the JLA has also fallen victim! How CAN the 99 hope to stop an out-of-control Superman? Perhaps with Batman’s and Wonder Woman’s help, the young heroes of the 99 can actually make a difference!
On sale NOVEMBER 24 * 2 of 6 * 32 pg, FC $3.99 US

Here I’ve been saying that Teshkeel Comics isn’t getting enough recognition. You know what really makes this irrelevant? I read this solit three times and am still not sure if I spelledTishekel Comics right, and really, who gives a fuck either way.

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #45
Written by MARC GUGGENHEIM
Art by SCOTT KOLINS
Cover by SHANE DAVIS & SANDRA HOPE
After one of the greatest terrorist attacks on American soil, the Justice Society remains behind to help rebuild in any way they can! But in contrast to their glory days during World War II, it appears the U.S. may not want the Society’s help. Luckily, that’s never stopped the World’s First Super Hero Team before!
On sale NOVEMBER 24 * 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Yay, a book about the JSA saying fuck you to the popular vote. Relive George W. Bush all over again, readers!.

JSA ALL-STARS #12
Written by MATTHEW STURGES
Art by HOWARD PORTER & ART THIBERT
Cover by FREDDIE WILLIAMS II
The All-Stars are drawn into deep space, leaving one of their own powerless back on Earth with the task of trying to rebuild a normal human existence! Unfortunately, being alone leaves them vulnerable to an attack from within!
On sale NOVEMBER 3 * 32 pg, FC, $3.99 US

FUCKING A! I  SERIOUSLY CAN’T TYPE ANYMORE READRDS! SOORY!@ JUST READ THE REST AND MAYBE I’LL EDIT THE POST O FINISH ANOTHER TIME!!!!!

———————————————————————————

AND NOW /// DAVE GETS DRUNK AGAIN AND PICKS UP WHERE HE LEFT OFF!

DOOM PATROL #16
Written by BRIAN KEENE & KEITH GIFFEN
Art by KEITH GIFFEN and AL MILGROM
Cover by MATTHEW CLARK
Horror author extraordinaire Brian Keene (The Rising, The Conqueror Worms) co-writes! Regular writer Keith Giffen also pencils! And the creative team isn’t the only thing going topsy-turvy in this issue, as strange and terrifying doppelgängers of Rita, Larry, and Cliff appear to attack our heroes!
On sale NOVEMBER 3 * 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

dOOM pATROL COMMENT: Has anyone else notficed that this book can be abbreviated as DP? and that dp alsod stands for something dirty? Haha-isj.

FREEDOM FIGHTERS #3
Written by JIMMY PALMIOTTI & JUSTIN GRAY
Art by TRAVIS MOORE & TREVOR SCOTT
Cover by DAVE JOHNSON
Only the Renegades stand between the Freedom Fighters and the first artifact they’re searching for, but is the combined power of these villains too strong? With Uncle Sam out of the picture, our heroes may end up being the first witnesses to the death of America!
On sale NOVEMBER 3 * 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Daeve: Directed by Oliver Stone?

TEEN TITANS #89
Written by J.T. KRUL
Art and cover by NICOLA SCOTT & DOUG HAZLEWOOD
1:10 Variant cover by FRANK QUITELY
Heads up, Teen Titans! There’s a new hero in town, and while Damian might not want to join you, he’s more than happy to lead you! There should always be a Robin on the team, but if Damian is their only available option, maybe they’ll pass on having a Boy Wonder. Hopefully he’ll be able to help against the terrible menace of the rising villain, Headcase!
Retailers please note: This issue ships with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 24 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Dave: I’m having a really hard time concerntatin because of a really weired skit of SNL.

TITANS #29
Written by ERIC WALLACE
Art and cover by FABRIZIO FIORENTINO
This is it! Deathstroke versus Batman! When a mission traps our deadly team in Arkham Asylum, they’re divided and confronted by some of Gotham City’s most notorious villains.
On sale NOVEMBER 10 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Davird: Deadstroke better kill happenBatman. He could stroke it and then be like, yopu’re dead. The end.

This isn’t funny, porbably because I’m sobering up. I’m going to take another few shots of tequila. BRB.

ADVENTURE COMICS #520
Written by PAUL LEVITZ
Co-feature written by JEFF LEMIRE
Art by KEVIN SHARPE & MARLO ALQUIZA
Co-feature art by MAHMUD ASRAR & JOHN DELL
Cover by SCOTT CLARK & DAVID BEATY
In the final issue of the first arc of “Superboy and the Legion: The Early Years,” for the first time – a Legionnaire dies! Learn how the consequences surrounding this brutal moment still affect the Legion today!
Also, in The Atom second feature, Ray Palmer must protect his stash of white dwarf matter from the Colony!
On sale NOVEMBER 3 * 40 pg, FC, $3.99 USD

Davy: Fred Savage better gets royalties for this.

LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #7
Written by PAUL LEVITZ
Art by YILDIRAY CINAR, FRANCIS PORTELA & WAYNE FAUCHER
Cover by YILDIRAY CINAR & WAYNE FAUCHER
The first strike of Durlan assassins arrives on Earth! Their goal: kill the United Planets leadership as revenge for R.J. Brande’s death…while posing as Science Police officers!
On sale NOVEMBER 17 * 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US

Diavid: How lame if youres life if you pose as SCIENE POLCIE??? Thiese people have clearly never been to middle schhool (Which is what grade I’m in).


DOC SAVAGE #8
Written by IVAN BRANDON & BRIAN AZZARELLO
Co-feature written by JASON STARR
Art by NIC KLEIN
Co-feature art by SCOTT HAMPTON
Cover by J.G. JONES
Doc’s Middle-Eastern adventure continues with a heart-to-heart with the Two Who Are One beside a burning lake of oil… and the revelation of a threat far greater than any weapon of mass destruction!
In the JUSTICE, INC. co-feature, The Avenger is cutting a bloody chunk out of New York’s underworld while Smitty fumes in prison! But when those cell doors open, will he choose the path of righteousness – or the one that will put him right back behind bars?
On sale NOVEMBER 10 * 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US

Davrth: I feel like BP is the villain in this comic.

DC UNIVERSE LEGACIES #7
Written by LEN WEIN
Art by DAN JURGENS & JERRY ORDWAY and BRIAN BOLLAND with SCOTT KOLINS
Cover by DAN JURGENS & JERRY ORDWAY
1:25 Variant cover by BRIAN BOLLAND
The unthinkable happens at the heart of the DC Universe when the world’s most beloved hero – Superman – dies defending us all from Doomsday! Meanwhile, Brian Bolland takes us into the Time Pool with The Atom, leaving him face-to-face with the Demon in Camelot!
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale NOVEMBER 17 * 7 of 10 * 40 pg, FC $3.99 US

Davri: Suiperman died to Doomsday AGIAN? I swaer, that happened just like 20 yers ago/


JONAH HEX #61
Written by JUSTIN GRAY & JIMMY PALMIOTTI
Art and cover by JORDI BERNET
Jonah Hex is many things to many people: a bounty hunter, a cowboy, a gambler, a stone-cold killer. But to Mai Ling, Jonah Hex is something else: her husband! Could this be true? Has Jonah Hex finally settled down?
On sale NOVEMBER 3 * 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Megan Fox: He better be marrying a fellow hair-lip/ Don’t soil a perfectly non-hair=lip genetic pool 9LOOKING  AT YUOU, JOAQUIN PHOENIX)

NIGHTMASTER: MONSTERS OF ROCK #1
Written by ADAM BEECHEN
Art by KIERON DWYER
Cover by BERNIE WRIGHTSON
The Shadowpact has been kidnapped by an evil wizard, and it’s up to former rock-god Jim Rook, the Nightmaster, to save them. No big deal, really, but a far more horrifying threat looms: the world’s biggest Jim Rook fan is following him around, and this dirty old hippie just…won’t…shut…UP!
Writer Adam Beechen (ROBIN, BATMAN BEYOND) and artist Kieron Dwyer (SUPERMAN: THE DARK SIDE) deliver a one-shot of supersonic proportions!
ONE-SHOT • On sale NOVEMBER 17 • 32 pg, FC $2.99 US

Princess Di: I ionlty read “Monsters of Rock”, which makes me think it could refer to QUEEN. Did you know that Queen is the all-toime best-selling band in England? Better than the Beatles/ Stones. And it’s udnerstandbale.

POWER GIRL #18
Written by JUDD WINICK
Art and cover by SAMI BASRI
Going toe-to-toe with her equal. Power Girl finds out that life isn’t always divine! Meet Divine: a powerhouse of a woman gunning to become Power Girl’s replacement!
On sale NOVEMBER 17 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Davitiango”” To be PG’s replacement,. one must be rwilling to be a slutty, underdeveloped character. But judging from the cover, I think Divine might have what it takes.

SECRET SIX #27
Written by GAIL SIMONE
Art by J. CALAFIORE
Cover by DANIEL LUVISI
The confrontation you never thought would happen is here! It’s Bane vs. Scandal in a time-lost world, as the two Secret Six teams find themselves on opposite sides of a vicious war that could destroy Skartaris!
On sale NOVEMBER 3 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Dane: Bane vs. Scandal? IS this about the Natioanal Enquierer?

ZATANNA #7
Written by PAUL DINI
Art by JESUS SAIZ
Cover by STEPHANE ROUX
While touring the world with her father as a child, Zatanna was nearly killed by a sinister puppetmaster named Oscar Hempel. But Hempel died long ago – didn’t he? If he’s dead, then who’s pulling the strings of that remarkably evil-looking puppet over there? Don’t miss this twisty, creepy thriller!
On sale NOVEMBER 17 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Dave: If the solit has to say it’s creppy, then it’s not crrepy. If need evidence, see any “Saw’ movie.


DC COMICS PRESENTS: THE FLASH/GREEN LANTERN: FASTER FRIENDS
Written by RON MARZ, MARK WAID and BRIAN AUGUSTYN
Art by BART SEARS, VAL SEMEIKS, RON LIM, ANDY SMITH, TOM GRINDBERG, JEFF JOHNSON and others
Cover by DAVE JOHNSON
Collecting the two-part miniseries from 1997 that brought together two Flashes and two Green Lanterns to battle the menace called Alien X in a story that begins in the 1940s and concludes in the modern era!
On sale NOVEMBER 3 • 96 pg, FC, $7.99 US

JASON BIGGS: They’re “fast” friedns because of their shared preamature ejaculation.

DC COMICS PRESENTS: J.H. WILLIAMS III #1
Written by D. CURTIS JOHNSON and J.H. WILLIAMS III
Art and cover by J.H. WILLIAMS III and MICK GRAY
Cameron Chase, agent of the Department of Extranormal Affairs, is introduced in the debut issue of her cult-favorite DCU series! Plus, family secrets are revealed in a tale from issue #6 – and the Dark Knight guest stars in the two-part story “Shadowing the Bat,” from issues #7-8. Featuring the spectacular art of J.H. Williams III!
On sale NOVEMBER 3 • 96 pg, FC, $7.99 US

Davbe: WHAT>>>>?

TEEN TITANS: RAVAGER – FRESH HELL TP
Written by DAVID HINE and SEAN MCKEEVER
Art by GEORGES JEANTY, YILDIRAY CINAR and others
Cover by YILDARY CINAR
In these stories from FACES OF EVIL: DEATHSTROKE #1 and TEEN TITANS #71-76 and 79-82, Beast Boy and Raven return to the fold to help Wonder Girl stabilize the Teen Titans in the wake of their battle with the Fearsome Five.
On sale DECEMBER 22 • 144 pg, FC, $14.99 US

Dave: I’d like to rabage her, get it?

\

DC SHOWCASE SUPERMAN/SHAZAM: THE RETURN OF BLACK ADAM DVD SHAZAM! MAQUETTE

Sculpted by Derek Miller

“In your times of need, simply call on me.” — SHAZAM!

Chosen by the wizard SHAZAM! to be the world’s protector, young Billy Batson becomes the World’s Mightiest Mortal. Battling alongside Superman against the nefarious Black Adam, Billy quickly discovers the challenge that all Super Heroes ultimately face – is he fighting for justice? – in this brand-new extra-length short. Four more favorite DC Comics Super Heroes – Jonah Hex, Green Arrow, Black Canary and The Spectre – face challenges of their own in this All-New Collection.

This hand-painted, cold-cast porcelain maquette of SHAZAM! is based on art from the highly anticipated Warner Home Video made-for-DVD animated original short, SUPERMAN/SHAZAM: THE RETURN OF BLACK ADAM!

Measuring approximately 9” high x 5.25” wide x 6.5” deep, this statue includes a 4-color Certificate of Authenticity and is packaged in a 4-color box.

Limited Edition.

*Quantities may be allocated

On sale November 17, 2010 * Statue * $99.99 US

MASS EFFECT SERIES 2 ACTION FIGURES

Miranda: 6.7”h

Mordin: 6.75”h

Legion: 7.25”h

Garrus: 6.75”h

On sale April 27, 2011 * Action Figures * PI
PI

Dvared: Ever pkat hide and seek as a kid and tyell “1,2 skipoi a few, 99,100!’ Bet ykyou did you cheatying basterd Goki. Anywyheo, THAT”S WHAT HAPPENIGHNG NOW!! I QUIT,!!ITCHES!

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5 Responses to “PREVIEW MOTHERFUCKING REVIEWS: NOVERMBER — DC (NSFW)”

  1. gokitalo Says:

    Totally going to read this in its entirety tomorrow, but whatever you do, don’t fix the typos. 🙂

  2. davidry214 Says:

    I actually only got through like five books books before passing out, so you’re going to be disappointed. I’ve tried to un-publish this until I can finish it eventually, but not sure WordPress will let me.

  3. davidry214 Says:

    Well, I skipped more than half the books, but I couldn’t drunkenly come back to this a third time. It is what it is now.

  4. gokitalo Says:

    I’m having a really hard time concerntatin because of a really weired skit of SNL

    Was it the one with Katie Perry’s bouncing Elmos?

    Dave: “I’m going undercove as someoe who wants to butt-fuck Batwoeman. Will I succedd? How much anal tube is enough? TIME WILL TELL!!!”

    (Actual dialogue from the comic)

    Davearoo says: Unless Jimmy Olsen saves the day by wearing a bowite, thern he had nothing on the end of Independecnce Day, with the GREATEST ACTOR OF OUR TIME, Randy Quaid (the even greatestest, Jeff Goldblum, is also in that film; I would let Andy suck his dick, I’m not ashamed to say).

    Even Dave needs to come up for air sometime

    DC COMICS PRESENTS: J.H. WILLIAMS III #1
    Written by D. CURTIS JOHNSON and J.H. WILLIAMS III
    Art and cover by J.H. WILLIAMS III and MICK GRAY
    Cameron Chase, agent of the Department of Extranormal Affairs, is introduced in the debut issue of her cult-favorite DCU series! Plus, family secrets are revealed in a tale from issue #6 – and the Dark Knight guest stars in the two-part story “Shadowing the Bat,” from issues #7-8. Featuring the spectacular art of J.H. Williams III!
    On sale NOVEMBER 3 • 96 pg, FC, $7.99 US

    Davbe: WHAT>>>>?

    Chase is actually supposed to be awesome. But is the whole series, or just #1 and #6-8? I mean, if you’re promoting J.H. Williams, just collect the whole series in a trade and put “J.H. Williams” in big letters, like you did with Grant Morrison when you collected Aztek. You can even add Mark Millar’s name in small, normal letters, like you did in Aztek, even though he co-wrote it and probably deserves as much credit as Morrison did. He didn’t even write Chase, but it’d be a hilarious move. A jerk move, but a hilarious jerk move.

    Finally, the issue where we see what happened if Booster fucked Hippolyta and became Wonder Woman’s father.

    This founds familiar… WAIT, LOOK THERE

    Davri: Suiperman died to Doomsday AGIAN? I swaer, that happened just like 20 yers ago/

    Hey, they say fads repeat themselves every 20 years. Which means GRUNGE IS COMING BACK

  5. Lake Travis Homes for sale Says:

    Lake Travis Homes for sale…

    […]PREVIEW MOTHERFUCKING REVIEWS: NOVERMBER — DC (NSFW) « Eat More Comics[…]…

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